Who am I? - Sunday thoughts part 4

("Oh no, here she is again with her ramblings *sigh*" - yes, I know what you think! But it's my blog, my own, MY PRECIOUS, just like my yoga mat :D)

Aaaanyway, I had an interesting conversation yesterday with a dear friend of mine, and she made an interesting comment that got me thinking. Again.

Source

Here is how this part of the conversation went:

Me: I'm teaching my first yoga class next week.
DF (Dear Friend): wheeeee! so exciting!
Me: yeah, and the fact that I'm more excited than scared by it means it must be right, knowing the coward I usually am.
DF: well you might have been, but you're not anymore. You still view yourself this way, that's all.
Me: ... o_O ...
She had a point.

I've been clinging to old patterns, still viewing myself as the 20-year old me, but that's not who I am anymore. Which is not a bad thing if you ask me, except that my 20 years old are gone forever but hey, nothing I can do about it!

You know what I used to believe?
- I used to think I was that shy girl who would stand in her corner of the room in social gatherings and wish she could teleport home; I used to be that girl, but lately I found out that I can be a chatterbox if no one stops me, and that includes talking to people I just met. Oops.
- I used to think that safety and staying in my comfort zone would be just fine, why bother taking risks? Answer: because you die inside and your brain shuts down from boredom, that's why. There is so much potential within a human being!
-  I used to think I could't run, turns out I can. I'm no marathon runner, but the thought of running half an hour doesn't make me want to pull out my hair one by one, make a rope and hang myself anymore;
- The one you've been waiting for: I used to think that because I couldn't touch my toes, then I couldn't "do yoga". You know where that one's got me.

Take a look at yourself: what did you find out about yourself lately that you did not know / suspect? what is it you think about yourself that is really not true anymore? 

Bummed & blanks

Yeah, I too noticed the irony, a record called "Bummed" by the Happy Mondays. Yeah, I chose this on purpose, thus paying homage to one of the greatest high-on-drugs bands ever

Yep, one of those days...

Nothing serious, really. Sometimes things don't go according to plans, and there's nothing you can do about  it. This is when the famous twins Disappointment and Frustration choose to pay a visit.
You're a good yogini, so you try to not pay attention, you don't want to answer their knock on your door.
But you can't. And you end up ruminating. For almost nothing. There's nothing really serious, no family emergency, no accident, no catastrophe. But still, you can't let go.

Because when all these sris and swamis and gurus wrote their books or delivered their teachings, they didn't plan on having occidental female yoga practitioners coming in herds to yoga, which is why they overlooked something important: PMS.

...

Let's move on shall we? 

To make up for the bummed part, let's fill in the blank part! (as seen at Lauren's,  Rachel's and Jamie's)

1. In the story of my life the actor who would play me would be Natalie Portman. Ok we look nothing alike but she's short and a brunette, for one part, and I just *love* the girl. Or quirky-pre-skinny Cristina Ricci.

2. If I could change one thing about the world it would be tearing down all borders so people realize we were all made the same to begin with, whatever colour / religion / etc etc. Borders are overrated.

3. Yesterday we ran 25 minutes without stopping to walk. I know, doesn't look like a big achievement. Trust me, at my level, it is. And I got to do it with Lovely Boyfriend. I'm proud of us :)

4. My favourite comfort food is chocolate. Dark. Very dark. I need some right now.

5. My new favourite blog find is ah hum yeah tough one. I'm discovering so many right now that I can't keep track. There are so many talented writers out there sharing their passion, it's impossible naming just one.

6. If I could meet any blog friend (who I haven't met yet) in real life, I'd choose to meet all the people behind my blog roll. That would involve flying over to the US at some point, whoa!

7. My favourite breakfast food is peanut butter banana toast, stick to my ribs. A bowl of good granola with yogurt (dairy or soy) and a banana is also a winner, although it doesn't hold me over as well. Lately I've had weird concoctions, I won't go into details here (typical Lovely Boyfriend line when we manage to have breakfast together: "what is THIS you're eating?"

Have a great week folks!

Blanks

I'm a crazy list maker, you already know that. I won't go grocery shopping without a list (doesn't stop me from buying stuff that is not on the list, though), I make to-do lists at work, I make lists for goals, I should maybe make a list of lists.
When I so this list here and here, among others, I knew I had to fill in the blanks too, you know, sounds like fun, because lists are my idea of fun.

1. The most adventurous thing I've ever done is... going to the UK for a year on an exchange programme when I was a student. I was seriously shy and had never got away from home, as my local university offered the studies I wanted to take. They also were part of an European exchange programme, and I took a shot at it. I already loved the UK back then so no wonder I signed up, hell yeah! And I had to, wait for it,  TALK TO PEOPLE so I wouldn't spend a whole academic year miserable on my own.
This and stepping on a yoga mat for the first time, truly had no idea what was in for me. That said, I still have no idea!

2. If I were a pair of shoes I would be... a pair of Doc Martens. These ones, the originals:

Ok embarrassing confession: I used to have a pair of those, I got them when I was 17 and would wear them every day. I mean, EVERY day, until 5 years later I had to throw them away. So I cut out the little tags at the back and kept them as a souvenir. For years.

3. My preferred mode of digital communication is... email, definitely.

4. I feel happiest when... I'm having a good laugh with Lovely Boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, my lover, my best friend, and I think being able to laugh with your partner is essential in this kind of relationship. It's easier of course when you have the same lame humour.

5. A little dream I have for my life is to...travel the world, fall in love with a place and move there, and be my own boss.

6. The one modern convenience I could NOT do without is... Fridge or washing machine? Tricky one...
How about the internet?

7. Music, movies, TV or books: if I could only choose one to enjoy I would pick... books. I've always been a huge book lover, reading is my hobby of choice, too sad I can't read as much as I would like to but hey, choices... Music is close though.

Enough ramblings for today, I have to take care of my kitchen turned into a baking lab. "And it burns, burns burns", you know...

Take care.