What can I say really, what can I tell you that you yoga teachers don't already know?
I won't bore you with a hour-by-hour recap and all the details, most of you have already been there, but allow me to say that it was intense. As in, "it's 7pm I'm in London I could go out but I just want to veg around in my hotel room" intense.
The feelings of anxiety and inadequacy, sort of, disappeared as soon as I got to the studio where the training is taking place. Maybe because of something my teacher said: "you are where you are because where you are is where you should be". It always has more impact when someone else said it, right?
My fellow teacher trainees and I practiced, discussed, listened, absorbed, and left overwhelmed but wanting more at the same time.
Overwhelmed because there is so much to learn, so much to integrate in a class and make it work, and so much to do (homework, anyone?). Rachel is spot on in her latest post! But wanting more, more practice, more knowledge, more of everything.
Ever since I've been back, I want more of this. If truth be told, I feel that yoga is my real job, and my day job is just a supporting activity, I'm drifting away from what was once my whole life. And it is scary and exciting at the same time.
My feelings are still all over the place as everything we did is still sinking in, so I'll keep this post short. Plus, I have to sort out my papers and notes, and squeeze in some reading before I go to bed. Current reading: Hatha Yoga Pradipika (translation of Bihar School of Yoga). Rock on!
PS: on top of that, full moon tonight. After dropping (and breaking) a small jar of china gel stuff, having on curtain fall on my face, and pouring a cup of tea not quite in the cup but more like right next to it, I'm afraid I might drop my laptop or delete the whole post by mistake. Better stop here out of safety reasons.
This sounds like a very exciting time in your life, indeed. It will be interesting to see (read?) how it all unfolds...
ReplyDelete"Ever since I've been back, I want more of this. If truth be told, I feel that yoga is my real job, and my day job is just a supporting activity, I'm drifting away from what was once my whole life. And it is scary and exciting at the same time."
ReplyDeleteit summons up my feelings, the place I'm at, almost exactly:-)
thank you!
Drift, baby, drift. :) If you feel it and you're flowing, then it's the right direction. I also take the accidents as a sign, too. It's like you're working the rest of the jitters, uncertainties, chitta vritti, and hold-you-backs out so you can be present for this new beginning. :)
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